


Just The Tip (Of The Trauma Iceberg)

by robindrake93



Series: You're My Sun, My Wind [2]
Category: Spies In Disguise (2019)
Genre: Comfort, Developing Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex Toys, Sleepovers, Walter Is A Virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:29:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22120327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robindrake93/pseuds/robindrake93
Summary: The day of Tristan McFord's (Killian) trial, Walter knew that he was going to have nightmares.
Relationships: Walter Beckett/Lance Sterling
Series: You're My Sun, My Wind [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1590184
Comments: 15
Kudos: 280





	Just The Tip (Of The Trauma Iceberg)

**Author's Note:**

> Is this porn without plot, porn with plot, or plot with a lot of porn? The world may never know. 
> 
> Part one doesn't have to be read to understand what's happening but I've heard its a good read. ;)
> 
> If you don't like the font color, click "Hide Creator's Style" at the top and it'll revert to black. Don't reupload/repost my fics.

  
Walter stood outside the courthouse and tossed gluten-free breadcrumbs to the pigeons on the steps. “Hi,” he whispered to the pigeons. “Nice to meet you all.” Walter was in a bad place mentally, emotionally. He wanted to leave the courthouse entirely but Lance was still inside giving his statement and Walter wanted to be with him more than he wanted to leave. The overcast sky matched his mood. 

Twenty minutes ago, he’d testified against Tristan McFord. Enemies of the world weren’t given public trials. It was an extremely private, extremely stuffy affair. The trial was somber and it was a stark contrast to how Walter and Lance had finally brought Tristan in. Talking about his inventions and how they apprehended Tristan with a _‘Scooby-Doo’_ approach made Walter feel stupid. Actually, it was the harsh, disbelieving, judging looks of the officials in the room that made Walter feel small, and stupid, and childish. It was worse than being outright laughed at. Even Tristan looked embarrassed by how he was caught.

Marcy, Eyes, and Ears all testified before Walter. They winced as they spoke about Tristan’s capture. Walter had sat in stony silence, face red with humiliation. He had to keep reminding himself that his gadgets weren’t stupid, that they were there to save lives. And they had saved Tristan’s life and the lives of all the Agents. Then it was his turn to take the stand. 

After he testified, Walter had asked a security guard if he could go outside for some fresh air. The guard looked at his face then told him he could go but to stay close to the building. There was a warning in his tone that said they would be able to find Walter no matter where he hid. Walter seriously doubted it but he promised to stay nearby. 

Lance’s testimony took an hour. By the time he came out of the courthouse, Walter’s butt was numb from sitting on cold concrete. He ruffled Walter’s hair and plopped down beside him, long legs stretched down the stairs. “How about we get take out and go to my place tonight?” His face didn’t give away any distress but Lance was the epitome of cool, calm, and collected. 

“Yeah, okay.” Walter wanted to rub his cheek against Lance’s shoulder but he restrained himself. They weren’t out as a couple to the Agency. Walter wasn’t sure that Lance wanted anyone to know about them and he didn’t want to risk losing Lance. “Can we get Thai?” 

Lance smiled. “Sure thing.” He took out his car keys and pressed the button. In a few moments, the car sped into view and stopped beside the curb. Lance looked extremely smug about this every time it happened. Another press of the button and the doors opened automatically. 

They got in, buckled up, and picked up food from a local restaurant. At Walter’s insistence, they stopped by Walter’s new house to pick up Lovey as well. The drive to Lance’s apartment was spent talking about what they were going to watch once they got there. Neither of them mentioned the trial, Tristan, or what his fate might be. 

Lance’s penthouse apartment was nothing like Walter’s home except that both were extremely clean. Except Lance’s apartment was clean because he was cleanly; Walter just hadn’t broken the house in yet. Everything in the apartment was white, black, or electric blue. The floors were tile throughout the entire penthouse. The furniture was modern and sleek. Everything was straight lines and sexy curves of electric blue. Lance’s penthouse looked so much like his car that it had to be deliberate. And like the car, there were hidden weapons everywhere. 

Stepping into Lance’s apartment was breathtaking every time for Walter. He’d never seen so much blatant wealth in one place and he had quietly deduced that Lance’s salary was much higher than his own. Plus, the view was to die for. One entire wall was floor-to-ceiling glass. 

Lovey had no problems with entering Lance’s apartment and treating it as her own. She flew onto perch in the living room that was made of a real birch tree trunk and branches. Walter was happy that Lance had taken a shining to her so much so that he allowed her in his apartment and even allowed Walter to make some modifications to make her more comfortable. Her nest wasn’t there - it was in the bedroom because Lovey always slept in the same room as Walter - but two small silver bowls for water and food were attached to the branches of the birch. 

Dinner was quiet but comfortable affair. They ate on the couch in the living room, in front of Lance’s big screen TV. The TV had been covered in dust the first time that Walter came over because Lance wasn’t a fan of watching it. Because Lance had no idea what kind of shows were playing, Walter was given free range to pick what they watched though he did take into consideration what Lance said he was in the mood for. Usually. Now they were watching a documentary on mushrooms. Walter stared at the screen, mesmerized. 

Lance nudged him. “Don’t forget to eat, Walter.” The documentary seemed to relax Lance after a day of reliving a trauma. 

Or maybe Walter was projecting his own feelings. He only barely dared to hope that it was his presence that relaxed Lance. Walter shoveled food into his mouth with his chopsticks but barely blinked for fear of missing something interesting. Inspiration for his gadgets came from the world all around him and he soaked up knowledge like a sponge. 

After dinner, Lance got up and went to take a shower. He hesitated like he might invite Walter but seemed to change his mind. 

Walter was torn between wanting to join Lance and wanting to take things a little slow. We’ll, not slow exactly. But he was of the opinion that they should build up to anal sex. He stayed on the couch, fidgeting. His attention was torn between fantasies of Lance in the shower and the fascinating mushroom documentary. By the time Lance appeared in the doorway - wearing a pair of pajama pants slung low on his hips - Walter had worked himself into a state. Walter jumped to his feet. “Can I use your shower?” 

“Of course,” Lance said.

Walter went to push past him.

Lance caught him by the arm. He drew Walter near and kissed him square on the mouth. His breath smelled like mint toothpaste. “I’ll be in bed,” Lance said as he released Walter.

Walter flashed Lance a smile before he hurried into the bathroom. He was more than ready to take a hot shower and then join Lance in bed. He left his clothes in a pile on the floor and stepped into the huge shower. Lance’s shower did not have shampoo or conditioner or any sort of soap that Walter could see. For a moment, Walter just stared at the knobs, buttons, and then the shower head above him. Nothing was labeled. Walter guessed where the water would come out, stepped aside, and turned one of the knobs. 

The cold water that came out reminded him too much of the Scottish coastal base that Killian had taken over. Walter quickly tried the other knob. The water heated quickly. There. That was perfect. He pushed a button. A panel slid back and a little silver dispenser popped out. Walter held his hand beneath it. White cream was dispensed into his palm. He raised it to his nose to smell. There was the scent of leather and something woody with hints of lemon and lilac. Walter smiled as he lathered his hair with it. The other buttons dispensed conditioner, body wash, shaving cream, and a fancy razor. The last button made a large section of the wall flip over to reveal a mirror that didn’t fog up with the steam. Walter was impressed. 

He cleaned himself as thoroughly as possible however it wasn’t until he was through and standing dripping on the bathmat that Walter realized he didn’t have any clean clothes. Water ran off him in rivers and his hair was limp against his scalp. He looked around the bathroom and located a stack of folded towels easily enough but there were still no clothes. Well, did he really need clothes? It wasn’t his residence but last time they slept together they were naked for it so it was probably okay. Right? 

Walter picked up a towel. It was soft and fluffy and inexplicably warm. There was a thin sheet of metal between the towels. Walter wrapped himself up in the warmth before curiously touching the metal. It was pleasantly hot to the touch. A quick peek showed that there was a metal plate between all of the towels. “That’s so cool,” Walter whispered. 

Then he turned his attention to his reflection. The towel was huge around his shoulders and looked more like a blanket. It was probably custom made since Lance was a dramatic eight feet tall. Walter fussed with his teeth, looked up his nose, tried a few hairstyles with his hands. He noted that the shadows around his eyes weren’t looking so hot - but it would probably be dark in Lance’s room so there was no need to worry about them being seen - and practised smiling a few times to chase away the lingering sadness in his blue eyes. 

The trial had been stressful. Walter knew that he was going to have nightmares that night. It made him antsy to think about going into Lance’s bedroom and spending the night with him when Walter knew that it wasn’t going to be a good night. He picked at his fingernails as he lingered in the bathroom. Lance would be wondering where he was by now. The water had been shut off for a while. “Just do it!” Walter whispered sternly at himself. He wasn’t a coward and he wasn’t going to hide in the bathroom like one. 

Lance’s bedroom was lit by tracks of teal lighting. His bed was massive, which made sense because he was so tall. He lay on the left side of the bed. His eyes were closed but his body language said he was awake and knew Walter was there. 

Walter took a moment to just admire Lance’s long, lean body. He clutched his towel nervously then let it fall on the floor near the bed. He climbed into bed and had to actually crawl to Lance. Walter considered getting a bigger bed for his house but that was a thought for later. When he reached Lance, he swung a leg over Lance’s hips and straddled him. His heart hammered with excitement and nerves. Was this too bold? Would Lance reject him? 

Lance’s hands came up to Walter’s waist. The raw strength in them was apparent even when Lance wasn’t showing off. His expression was one of pleased surprise when he realized that Walter was naked. He ran his thumbs along Walter’s sides. “Well this is nice.”

Walter nodded in agreement. He was relieved that Lance still seemed to want him. He wiggled his hips under the guise of making himself more comfortable. Lance was getting hard beneath him. “Ready for bed, Lance?” He asked, all wide-eyed innocence. 

Lance pushed Walter’s hips down and rolled his up at the same time. It drew moans from both of them. “Just about, Walter. Do I get a good night kiss?”

Walter had to stretch himself out to kiss Lance and keep their bodies aligned. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Just a kiss and a little grinding was enough to get him hard. Walter wanted to forget Tristan and the trial. He wanted to get lost in Lance and that was probably what gave him the courage to rise up on his knees and pull Lance’s pajama bottoms down to his thighs. 

Lance rolled them over with the ease of a lion playing with a cub. He slid his pajama bottoms off completely and took a moment to fold them and drop them on the floor. 

One of these days, Walter was going to get him so wound up that Lance forgot to fold his clothes. That day wasn’t today, though. He spread his legs for Lance and touched himself. 

Lance’s attention snapped back to Walter. His eyes followed the motion of Walter’s hand. He covered Walter’s body with his own and caught him in a breath-stealing kiss. 

Walter hummed in his throat. He ran his hands over Lance’s short hair and down his shoulders. There was a raised bit of skin along his shoulder blades, a scar that Walter didn’t yet have the courage to ask about. 

Lance tense and forced himself to relax when Walter touched the scar. He kissed Walter harder.

Walter moved his hand and then to distract them both, he rolled his hips up to grind against Lance. It felt so good that Walter did it with more force. “Lance?” Walter started. If he thought too much about what he was going to say then the words would get stuck in his throat. “I want you inside of me. Please? Will you?” 

Lance murmured something that sounded like “killing me, boy.” He caged Walter in with his body, hovered over him with his elbows by Walter’s shoulders. “Have you ever had anal sex?” His hips rolled down, cock rubbing against Walter’s smooth hip as though to punctuate his question. 

Walter shook his head. Was that a deal breaker? He wondered if Lance preferred experience over inexperience. His hands slid from Lance’s shoulders and he pulled them against his chest. 

Lance hummed acknowledgement. He took Walter’s hand and brought it down to his cock. His cock was thick and long. It felt like silk draped over steel and it throbbed in time to Lance’s heartbeat. “I think we’ve got to work up to _me_ being inside of you.” 

“That seems like sound advice,” Walter relented. He still wanted something inside of him though. He ached for it in a way that confused him. Before Lance, Walter hadn’t given it too much thought. 

Lance must have read it on his face because he said, “I’ve got smaller toys. We can start with one of those.” 

Walter nodded consent. 

Lance got up to get a box from his closet. He brought it to the edge of the bed and sat down, then motioned to Walter to join him. “Come pick one out.” 

Walter did and settled on his stomach so that he could push his erection into the mattress. He peered into the box. It was difficult to see in the dark but there were five or six different toys in varying sizes and shapes, and a bottle of lube. Walter looked through the toys and finally selected the smallest one. 

Lance plucked the lube out of the box and then set the box on the floor. “Go get comfortable.”

Walter let himself fall back against the pillows and smiled at Lance. He still had the toy in his hand and he ran his fingers over the smooth, clean silicone. It was the shape of your average dick and highly detailed with veins along the shaft, about the length of Walter’s hand. 

Lance knelt between Walter’s legs. He smoothed a hand along Walter’s thigh and to his balls. He fondled them for a moment before moving on to Walter’s cock. His hand was so large that only the very tip of Walter’s cock poked out of his fist. 

Walter moaned and canted his hips. “Lance.” He reached for Lance, unable to keep his hands to himself. 

Lance smirked, self satisfied with Walter’s reactions. He swiped his thumb over the head of Walter’s cock and then let it go completely. 

Walter had been into it and the sudden loss of contact made him whine. His confusion cleared up when Lance popped the top on the lube. His legs trembled with anticipation. 

“Ready?” Lance asked as he poured lube onto his fingers. 

“Yes!” Walter spread his legs wider. Just because he’d never done it, didn’t mean he didn’t know the mechanics of having anal sex. He was eager for the toy and more eager that Lance was the one who was doing this with him. 

When his fingers were lubed up, Lance slid one finger into Walter. It was easy, barely any resistance, no burn at all. Hardly even a stretch. He didn’t go for depth, just moved his finger shallowly in and out. 

The forums that had said ‘it’s weird’ weren’t lying. Walter didn’t like it but he didn’t dislike it either. He knew that Lance wasn’t going anywhere near his prostate but wasn’t sure if that was by design or by accident. Soon after the first one, Walter said, “Another, Lance.”

Lance didn’t question him. He poured more lube onto his fingers and slid a second in to join the first. This one took a little more work but it eventually went in.

Now there was a bit of burn along with the stretch. His body flexed against Lance’s fingers and that only increased the feeling of being stretched. While it was a new feeling, it still wasn’t uncomfortable. Walter took a few breaths and nodded at Lance to continue. 

Lance repeated the same easy in and out motions as before. “You’re doing good, little lovebird.” 

Walter wasn’t sure if he was supposed to say thank you but it seemed polite so he did. He watched the muscles in Lance’s arms flex as he worked his fingers in and out of Walter. His gaze shifted to Lance’s cock, hanging hot and heavy between his legs. Precum glistened at the head. It occurred to Walter that things were fairly one-sided and he mentally promised himself that he would do more for Lance. But not right this second. 

When Lance judges him to be ready, he replaced his fingers with the toy. It wasn’t too much of a difference and the toy slid into Walter without resistance. Lance searched Walter’s face. This time he didn’t keep it shallow. He pushed the toy in until the flared base touched Walter’s skin. Another glance at Walter’s face. Then he began moving the toy in and out of Walter. Slowly at first but gradually picking up speed. 

The feeling was strange but that didn’t last long. Lance shifted the angle and suddenly Walter cried out. Pleasure curled between Walter’s hips and down into his cock. He arched off the bed, fucking himself on the toy that Lance moved in and out of him. It felt so good, so fucking good. Even better than Lance’s fingers had felt. So Lance _had_ been holding out on him. His hands, curled into the bedsheets moved to cup Lance’s face. Walter tried not to dig his nails in. “Lance, please, I-I want your mouth on me.” 

Lance didn’t stop his rhythm. He kissed Walter’s jaw. “Like this?” He cooed, teasing. His wrist kept moving, still thrust that toy into Walter at just the absolute perfect angle. 

Walter could have cried. He bit his lip and shook his head vigorously. “No. Your mouth -” he cut himself off with a moan. 

Lance kissed Walter’s nipple, swiped at it with his tongue so that it would stiffen. “Here?” 

Walter thought it might have been rude of him but he lightly pushed Lance’s head towards his aching, leaking cock. There was a trail of precum from the tip of his cock down to his stomach. “Please don’t tease, please, Lance, I need you so bad.” Walter was rambling but he didn’t care. He was so close to cumming, just on the brink. All he needed was a little more, a little bit of that hot wet mouth surrounding him. 

Lance’s amber eyes glittered with amusement and arousal. His lips brushed down Walter’s abdomen and in less than two seconds, he’d swallowed Walter’s cock down to the root. He lifted his head but dragged his tongue along the underside

That was all Walter needed, all he could take. He arched off the bed and let out a loud moan as he came; mostly on his stomach, a little on Lance’s face. It was so good, so good, nearly too good. When Walter was spent, he fell back onto the mattress and lay there trying to get his breath back. The toy suddenly felt too large in him, Lance’s mouth too much on his sensitive cock. He squirmed and whined to make his overstimulation known. 

Lance carefully pulled the toy out. He discarded it on the nightstand to be taken care of later. 

Walter whimpered as the toy left his body. He felt empty without it; something he hadn’t realized he would feel. He immediately wanted it back in and wondered if that was some sort of kink. 

Lance’s hand immediately went to his cock. His movements were fast and precise. His eyes kept flitting between Walter’s face and his still half-hard cock. Then Lance’s hand slowed. Stopped. Lance put Walter’s legs on either side of his hips. He moved forward, slid his cock through the mess of cum on Walter’s stomach, with a moan. 

It was a wildly hot sight to see. Walter wished he could get hard again so soon and mentally made a note to come back to that thought for an experiment later. 

Lance shifted again. His body was tense with controlled movements. He nearly trembled. It was possibly the most undone that Walter had ever seen Lance and that was thrilling in itself. He used one hand to support himself and the other to guide his cock between Walter’s legs. The head of his cock dragged along Walter’s taint and down to his hole. 

Walter’s breath caught. His eyes widened. Was he going to fuck Walter? Even with the toy and the cum as lube, Walter didn’t feel like he was prepared to take Lance’s cock. Lance was eight feet tall and his cock was proportionate to the rest of his body. The long and short of it was that Lance was a giant. “Lance?” Walter couldn’t keep the nervousness out of his voice, didn’t even try to. 

Lance glanced at his face, kissed his cheek. His hand hadn’t stopped striping his cock but he hadn’t made a move to do anything other than press the head of it against Walter’s hole. He took a carefully controlled breath. “Do you think you can handle the tip?” 

Walter looked between them. His heart thundered in his chest; partial fear and partial excitement. Would he be able to? He’d taken that toy pretty well. Walter gave a tiny shrug of his shoulders. “Maybe,” he said, skepticism clear in his voice.

“Okay,” Lance muttered. The head of his cock pressed more firmly against Walter’s hole. After a moment of resistance and pressure, it slipped in to Walter’s body. Lance’s hand had stilled but his entire body shuddered. He moaned low in his throat and dropped his chin to his chest. 

“Oh.” Walter’s voice was hoarse. Lance’s cock was girthier than the toy had been but Walter expected that. He didn’t expect it to make such a difference when it was actually inside of him though. Aside from a bit of a burn as he was stretched, it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. Walter squeezed experimentally, to see what Lance would do, to see what it felt like. The feeling was on the border of pain and pleasure. It made his breath catch. 

Lance kissed Walter again. He resumed stroking his cock but it was with slow movements this time. His hips rocked minutely; Lance unable to keep himself completely still. 

The movement of his hand and slight rocking caused Lance’s cock to move inside of Walter. He didn’t ever get very much past the head - no where near sheathing his full length - but he was a notable presence regardless. Walter made soft noises, unsure himself it was pleasure, but he couldn’t help it. He was still sensitive from his orgasm and he kept flexing around Lance because it made Lance moan and shiver. 

Lance didn’t try to make Walter take more than the head though he was shaking with want. His hand on his cock had sped up a little bit. He was still in perfect control of himself, though, as though he didn’t want to just let go. Lance caught Walter watching him and kissed him again. “You good?”

“I’m good,” Walter assured his partner. Walter watched Lance’s expression in the dim lighting. He listened to the way Lance’s voice changed as he got closer to his orgasm. They’d only been in bed together a few times but Walter had memorized the signs, knew Lance’s tells. He cupped Lance’s cheek to get his attention. When Lance’s eyes were looking into his, Walter said, “You can cum in me if you want.” 

A few seconds later, Lance came inside of Walter in a burst of warmth. He lingered for a moment, cock pulsing in time to his heart beat, then eased out with a moan. Lance laid beside Walter and kissed his cheek. 

Walter turned his face so that they could kiss properly. Lance’s cum was beginning to ooze out of him and though he wanted to stay in bed with Lance, he didn’t want to sleep in a wet spot. Plus there was still the partially dried cum on his stomach. No thank you. Walter kissed Lance one more time before crawling to the edge of the bed. “I’m gonna get cleaned up. I’ll be right back.” His voice was still low. 

“Good call,” Lance agreed. His amber eyes watched Walter leave the bedroom. 

Walter cleaned himself up. He felt really good for the first time that day and he was eager to get back to Lance. The threat of nightmares seemed small in the face of the afterglow. 

Lance wasn’t in the bedroom when Walter returned. Before Walter could look for him, he showed up with Lovey on his shoulder and a glass of water in his hand. “I thought you might be thirsty.” Lance held the water out to Walter. 

Walter smiled as he accepted the glass. “Thank you.” It wasn’t until he took a sip that he realized how thirsty he really was. 

Lance walked Lovey over to her nest box - a black box mounted to the wall with nesting materials in it, including some of Lance’s feathers - and helped her into it. He stroked under her chin and then went back to bed. 

Walter put the glass on the nightstand - not within reach because Lance’s bed was so large but better than putting it back in the kitchen - and crawled into bed to snuggle up with Lance. He kissed Lance. “Good night, Lance.”

“Good night, Walter,” Lance said. He yawned and closed his eyes.

Walter settled against Lance’s chest and did the same. 

The nightmares didn’t come every night but they did come. Walter would have a normal dream and then something would shift and he would be on the ground beneath Tristian’s dress shoe. He could still feel the ache of unyielding pavers against his back and the sharp heel digging into his rib cage. The worst of it was the unrelenting pressure against Walter’s lungs that caused every breath to be shallower than the rest as though Tristian was a constrictor squeezing the life from Walter. It felt like his ribs were going to crack, like he would never take fill his lungs again. 

Walter would claw his way back to consciousness but even awake he could feel the ghost of Tristian’s 200 pound bulk crushing him. If he was alone it would take upwards of half an hour to catch his breath and chase away the panic that made his limbs tingle. When Lance was there, that time was cut in half. Even in a state of panic, Walter’s mind recognized Lance as safety. 

It didn’t come as a surprise when later - curled up with his head against Lance’s chest - Walter found himself beneath Tristan’s foot again, slowly dying. 

Lance shook Walter awake. He cupped Walter’s face but there were no tears to wipe away. “Shh, lovebird, you’re okay. It’s just a bad dream.”

Walter clung to Lance and nuzzled his face into Lance’s neck while he tried to shake the feeling of suffocating. His body was convinced he was dying and the cold adrenaline rush made him tremble. 

“You’re safe. You’re safe, Walter,” Lance cooed. He rubbed comforting circles on Walter’s back. 

Lovey flew down from her perch and onto Walter’s head. She fluffed her feathers and cooed. 

Several minutes passed before Walter was able to croak, “Thanks, Lovey.” He reached up and stroked along her back with one finger. Walter stayed hidden in Lance’s neck for a few moments more. Now that the adrenaline faded, Walter was exhausted. The episodes were worse than getting no sleep at all and left him feeling drained. “Go back to sleep, Lovey. I’m fine.” 

Lovey flew back to her perch and watched the two of them with concern. It made sense that she worried about them; they were her flock. 

Lance tried to cover his yawn. They worked hard yesterday and they would have another hard day of work in a few hours. It wasn’t fair that he was woken up by Walter’s nightmares. 

Walter got out of bed and padded barefoot to the bathroom. From the medicine cabinet, he pulled out a fluorescent orange bottle of pills. It contained his anti-anxiety medication. Walter dully noted that he would have to get it refilled soon. He filled the cup by the sink with tap water and swallowed down one of the pills. He glanced at his face in the mirror, relieved to see that he wasn’t scraped up and dirty like he had been on the mission. Walter went back into the bedroom and settled back against Lance’s chest. He listened to the other man’s heart beating steadily. It was a calming sound, nothing at all like Walter’s racing heartbeat. The tension slowly drained from Walter’s body. 

“All good?” Lance asked. He fit Walter into the crook of his arm, hand on his thigh. He held Walter like he couldn’t bear to have any distance between them, like he could protect Walter forever. 

“Just a nightmare,” Walter assured him. Now that it had been several months since their first mission, Walter didn’t get the nightmare like he used to. It used to come every night. Now it was two or three times a week. He could usually predict the nights that were going to be bad and on those nights he made sure that they were sleeping alone. Walter didn’t want to bother Lance with his nightmares and he figured that the short breaks could be good for their relationship. Sometimes Walter worried that Lance would get bored of him, or think that he was too weird to be in a relationship with and change his mind. But right now those thoughts were distant, hazy. “Do you get nightmares about missions?” 

Lance tensed beneath him. The tempo of his heartbeat sped up a notch. He was silent for a long time and then he said, “More often than I’d like. What do you dream about?” 

Walter didn’t want to admit it but Lance had admitted that he got nightmares too. If anyone would understand, it would probably be Lance. In a whisper, Walter said, “Tristan breaking my ribs and suffocating me.” 

Lance held his breath for five seconds. He squeezed Walter a little bit tighter, pushed his nose into Walter’s curls. His voice was normal - even light - when he said, “And not the freaky arm gun in your face?” 

Walter frowned as he thought about it. Sure, that had been scary when it was happening and he had decked Walter pretty good with that arm...but no. He didn’t dream about it anymore now that he was out of the hospital. “His arm wasn’t the scariest part about him,” Walter tried to convey. “That blow with his arm gave me a concussion but it wasn’t anything like him s-stepping on me.” His voice had gone small. “I thought he was going to kill me with his foot before his robot arm could even warm up.” 

Lance swallowed. His thumb rubbed back and forth along Walter’s thigh but there was nothing sexual about the movement. “I’m sorry that I dragged you into that, Walter.” 

Walter wanted to push himself up to look Lance in the face but it was dark in their room and Walter was still so tired. Lately it felt like he was always tired. “I don’t regret it, Lance. So much has changed for the better because of that mission. A few nightmares are worth all of the good that came out of it.” 

Lance took Walter’s hand and brought it to his lips to kiss his knuckles. “You are the bravest and most kind-hearted person I’ve ever met. I’m honored to know you.” There was a pause and Lance kissed Walter’s knuckles again. “And to be your lover, little lovebird.” 

As tired as he was, Walter couldn’t help but smile at Lance’s warm words. He tilted his face to kiss Lance’s chest. “Fact: lovebirds need to be in pairs. So you’re a lovebird too, Lance. ” 

The next morning they both had bags under their eyes from a troubled nights sleep. As far as Walter was aware, Lance hadn’t had any nightmares. Lovey stayed close to the both of them until they left for work, protectively checking on her flock. They both tried to reassure her that they were okay. Not for the first time, Walter thought about getting a therapist. But then Lance smiled at him from the driver's seat and put his hand on Walter’s thigh, and Walter forgot all about that train of thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if you enjoyed. :3
> 
> I’ve got an 18+, all-ships-friendly SiD discord if any adults want to join. https://discord.gg/tqcYGj4


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